MCQ’s Soapbox: Fetishism, Eroticism or Transphobia?

Romance Author

MCQ’s Soapbox: Fetishism, Eroticism or Transphobia?

For many years I have considered myself to be different. It has taken a long time to accept the person I have grown up to be. Lately, I have been noticing a number of twitter posts and even direct messages telling me to stop fantasizing the world I have come to love and respect. Being labeled Transphobic is absurd… especially when I consider myself to be transgendered.

I know there are those who look at the LGBTQ community and transgender people in particular and associate them in a very negative light. Fantasizing them in romantic, yet abusive natures. It is not always meant as hateful, but is often confused and perceived by those outside the community as desired punishment of those in the community who choose to be different. This ignorant perception is brought about because of fear of knowing the truth and accepting that truth.

There is a difference between living transgendered and loving transgendered. Living transgendered and being questioned about their choices is offensive and very uncomfortable. I get it when there are those who say, “I have to ask so I don’t offend,” or “I am only asking so I can better understand.” It is up to us to identify where the line in the sand is and let people know when they have crossed it. This applies to any person in the world… not just the LQBTQ community. When the conversation moves from understanding the choice and moves to satisfying the curiosity about the sexual preference or any other private matter, this is when it can become offensive… but this depends on the person and how open he or she chooses to be.

People in general, use their imagination to build up sexual arousal. Some have a more vivid imagination than others. This is why the adult entertainment industry continues to profit and writers of erotica are not far behind. Fans draw from pictures, videos and the written word to live out fantasies. Some of these fantasies are also perceived unwanted because they involve what some would call non-traditional methods of sexual gratification that push the boundaries of moral and ethical standards.

What is difficult about this is how the ignorant look at the transgender and many in the LGBTQ community. This is where the transphobia comes from, but is not how it should be explained. Those who are transgendered want the same things in life that everyone else wants… TO BE HAPPY and to live their lives without being ridiculed. At the same time, it should be known that there is a difference between fetishism and transgender topics. Yes, there is sometimes an overlap because of the sexual gratification some of us obtain, but this is not much different from that of a straight male or female who happens to obtain sexual gratification from the opposite or same sex. There is a physical attraction and mutual interest in a common theme. It generally starts there.

For those who have read my books and stories find that I cover a wide spectrum, but I have always tried to tell stories that are close to my heart and in some cases based on my own experiences; but in every case, I have attempted to tell a story that is based on a level of respect and brings about a level of awareness – and yes I have used words that can be considered offensive because of how they are used in context. This is a way of telling a story… in some cases, the story is graphic and offensive, but still needs to be told as accurately as possible.

If you follow twitter, you also know that there are always captions of all types of sexual interests and if you look hard enough, you will find images and suggestions that go way off the spectrum and are questionably criminal and far from a fetish driven image depicting a female domination of a crossdressing sissy or a man living out a fantasy of how the other half lives.

Yes, many of the terms used in society are offensive to the LGBTQ community and in particular the transgender persons. No different from that along cultural lines. I agree this is a difficult stigma to get passed for many in today’s society. This promotes the phobia people speak of. The use of word shemale or tranny can be just as hurtful as the N word directed at a person of color or the F word to describe a person who just happens to have mannerisms that gravitate to the opposite sex. These words are unfortunately ingrained in the psyche of society as acceptable in some cases. If you believe words to hurt, yes it is important that you speak up, but you should also know that these words are also expressed as an acceptance by members of the same community. This doesn’t mean they are not still hurtful, but it should be known that depending on who says the word and how the word is used in context it can be difficult to disagree with others in the same community you gravitate to.

At the end of the day, these types of posts and messages are meant more to excite, arouse and entertain the viewer. No different than a television show or other literary piece. If we are going to begin to censor these types of free expression, then we will eventually live in a world with no stories to tell at all – because at some point anything seen by a person will be offensive to another.

If there is something you do not agree with or find offensive you can change the channel or refuse to support the artist who is telling the story whether the story is visual or written. I will jump off my soapbox for now, but try to remember that there is a difference between living and loving – no matter who the person is. Sometimes the love comes in a different form and that is okay too!

I would love to hear your comments…


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