Tag Archives: Featured

Excited about the latest book in the MCQ Library

Hacking the Human Condition (Scheduled Release October 2018)
#Transgender #Erotica #Suspense #Romance #Hypnosis

Super psyched about my latest book!  It started with a lot of sissification and femdom, but as the story started to take shape, I realized those aspects were for a different group of characters.  I replaced it with a little more suspense and some misdirection keeping the mystery until the end of this 39,000 plus word story.

This is the story of Daniel Mallory, child prodigy who graduated college at fifteen and spent the last nine years working for one of the top security firms in the world.   The company’s continued success is in large part due to Daniel’s raw ability and high intelligence, but with high IQ comes with a number of social inadequacies that has the company worried when it announces it plans to go public.  While Daniel doesn’t seemed worried, a new executive expresses his concerns and makes changes that affect Daniel immensely and his visible distaste has the company recommending therapy for the young professional.

What Daniel doesn’t know is his therapist has a past that is taken out on her patients and Daniel becomes the latest victim.  Along the way, this story goes from suspense, to confusion, to a hypnotic sissy programming that has Daniel questioning his identity and once he learns the truth and his therapist disappears, he becomes determined to uncover the truth and settle the score once and for all.

Research interview went in a different direction

As a very private person, it takes a lot to get me to talk about my writing face to face – especially in the states.  Europe is a little easier since I am not in the cities for a very long time and I can doll up and be myself.  So doing an interview in my home town took a lot of pushing from some of my friends.

Now this was not like any interview I had done in the past.  Most of the interviews I had done were either online or more of a book promotional thing.  This one was much different.  One of my friends’ daughter is a psych major at one of the universities in town and I was asked to interview with them to discuss the affects of sex and literature.

My initial response was no, but we continued to negotiate and went from emailing me the questions, to doing a phone interview to doing a face to face meeting.  I was very clear about the interview and how I expected it to be conducted which she and her two project partners agreed to.

So, they came out to my place which was private and a place I felt comfortable with.  After getting past the pleasantries, we sat down and went through the interview questions.  I was pleasantly surprised at the seriousness the three of them had about the interview.  I was expecting more of an immature and awkwardness that never showed itself.

Now, most of them were pretty straight forward.

How did you get in to writing?

Why did I choose the genre?

How did I find the inspiration for the stories and characters?

The group came loaded and the interview was a lot longer than I thought it would be, but aside from the time it took to complete, it was pretty painless. The questions mostly centered around emotional state when I was writing and reading similar topics, choice of vocabulary, character development and feedback. They did eventually ask me about specific books they had read as part of their research and specifically the biography I wrote and re-released earlier this year.

What I was surprised about was they didn’t refer to me as an erotic author.  Something I needed to clarify with them during the interview.  They made reference to a a few books they thought didn’t really fit the erotica genre – specifically, Understanding Steve VR-Nica and a Victim’s Revenge.  They categorized these as more suspense or in the case of Understanding Steve – “feel good” stories.  I had never thought of my work as feel good stories and it certainly opened my eyes to how others view my work.

When we were finishing up, my friend’s daughter Lisa (that is not her real name) stuck around after the rest of her group left.  She had a few more questions for me that didn’t have anything to do with the interview, but tried very hard to make it about the interview.  She asked me about her father, who’s a good friend of mine and part of the LGBT community, but someone I was not sexually attracted to, but still a great friend who I confided in.

Lisa was worried about her father and his isolation.  Because he lives alone and is retired, he rarely leaves his apartment which had Lisa concerned.  She had been trying for years to get her father open up to her but he continued to remain a very private person.  She said that her reason for studying psychology was to help her understand her father, but while she now had a better understanding, he continued to talk with her about his lifestyle choices.

This was tough for me as I have kids of my own and have kept my secrets hidden away.  Lisa knew about her father not long after her mother passed away four years ago. It was not something I felt comfortable getting involved in but couldn’t stay away.  I simply told her that while she had to be patient, she had to also consider the fact that he was never going to open up to her about his choices and the best thing she could do was simply continue to be supportive.

When I told her that she opened up even more telling me that she tried helping her father become more feminine and even shared some of her clothes with him, but he was in such denial that he just became angry at the thought that Lisa knew more than she should have.  What I suggested was that she write him a letter and let him read it on his terms and not to speak about it again.  If he is is willing to reach out and discuss it further than he will do it on his terms.

For someone so educated, I was a little shocked when she asked me what she should write.  So, I sat her down at the kitchen table told her to write down what she wanted to tell him.  When she got stuck, I told her to talk to me as if I was her father and the emotions poured right on the page.  I never told her what I already knew that her father shared with me. He had told me that the divorce was because he realized he was different and wanted to explore that lifestyle.

Lisa’s mom was not only devastated but the humiliation boiled over into hatred for him and the reason he is somewhat distant from Lisa was because she initially blamed him for the divorce.  Not surprising considering she only had one side of the story, but time does heal some of the wounds and some wounds need a lot of time to heal because they are just too deep.

Lisa was older now and doesn’t blame her father and wants him in her life.  I would like to say that she would accept him no matter what, but based on our conversation and the tone of her letter, I think there are still barriers to break down – especially when it comes to her perception of her father being out in public or having someone special in his life.  I could tell this was difficult for her when she asked me if her father and I had ever “hooked up”.  She was somewhat relieved to her we hadn’t.

When she was done and was ready to leave, she asked if she could reach out to me – to talk and be friends.  How can you turn down a supportive friend with a good heart?  Hopefully Lisa and her father can have a relationship they can both be happy with and I hope those of you faced with situations like this one can find the strength you need to understand the circumstances before passing judgement or attempting to force change onto others.

Best of luck “Lisa”.

Hate what you understand

Being in the closet, I am probably not the best person to have a viewpoint on those who choose to live their life “exposed” to the world, but as a human being and an intelligent one at that, I have become very observant and what I saw this week – while not something I hadn’t seen before – was unforgivable.

During my years in confining spaces, I occasionally would venture out to see the world with another pair of eyes… looking for inspiration, gratification and maybe a little confirmation that I could pull it off.  What I also found was fear.  Fear of what would happen if I were caught, discovered or outed.  So while my outings were more successful, they were also very lonely and that is what I saw yesterday morning.  What I also saw was fear and hate.  Hate directed at what people feared because they didn’t understand.

I often get up before the sun does and usually do my grocery shopping since I it’s quiet and I usually don’t have to stand in line.  I got up and headed to the store and usually run into the same workers and a few of the same shoppers.  One in particular was a young transgender woman.  I see her all the time and learned a lot about her without actually speaking to her.  She was transgender (as evident from her mannerisms and appearance) and worked late nights as a customer service rep or telemarketer (this was due to the badge she wore from a company I have done business with).  Now don’t misinterpret my observation skills for stalking – the more you see someone them more you pick up on certain clues.  What confirmed my suspicions was her voice.  It was deep than most of the women I knew.  I consider myself somewhat friendly especially when people are friendly to me, but I can be a total bitch when I need to.  This young lady and I almost never spoke except for the occasional “good morning” and “excuse me”.

Anyway, yesterday I spotted her as I was marking things off the grocery list.  she was at a distance and I quickly dismissed her as I moved down another aisle.  As I was picking things off the shelf, I noticed one of the “stockers” coming down the aisle to speak with another employee.

“Hey, did you see that fag down in produce?” one of them said.

“Yeah that tranny comes in here all the time.” the other said, “He can’t come in here during the day so he gets all dressed up to come here at night.”

When I heard that, I tried to let it go and continued with my shopping, but deep down I was seething.  I moved down a couple more aisles and eventually the young woman and I met up in the bread aisle.  I greeted her as I greet everyone who comes close… with a quick and subtle “Good morning.” she reciprocated and went on with the rest of our shopping.  When I finished up, I decided to make it clear that I was unhappy with how uncomfortable I felt listening to these two talking about one of their valued shoppers, but I didn’t get the chance.  As I turned into the lane to pay for my full basket, I turn and watched the two workers following the young woman who was now crying as she dropped her small handheld basket and left the store.

I quickly told the cashier to forget ringing anything up and I would return shortly.  I walked over to the men who had now picked up the basket she had and took it from them.  I walked to the same cashier and asked her to ring up the ten items she had in the basket.  When she asked if I was going to pay for the items in my basket, I told her that I wouldn’t be and I would return in a few minutes to  talk with the manager.

I walked out of the store with two bags and headed to the bus stop where I saw her sitting and trying to recover.  I told her that I saw what happened and took care of her groceries.  While I initially refused to let her pay me the twenty six dollars, I could tell she was very independent and would feel worse for accepting a handout.  I went to shake her hand and instead got a hug from her.  I then walked back into the store.

The store owner who I had seen dozens of times was waiting for me and I explained to him what I saw and he assured me that he would take care of it.  I explained to him that disciplining the workers is not the only issue and he should educate them instead.  Then the manager said something I couldn’t believe.

“Educate them?  What do you mean?” he asked.

Apparently, I didn’t explain myself clearly enough.  I tried to keep the young woman’s dignity in tact by referring to her as a woman, but the store owner either never understood or was so naive that he never took stock in his regular customers.

“The woman is transgender and the workers had no right to treat her the way they did.” I explained.

The store owner took a moment to formulate a response and said, “I will talk with them about this.  I do want you to know that we do reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.”

I couldn’t believe it.  He missed the entire point.  I thought about saying – you can refuse service to anyone you like.  What you can’t do is put people in fear or danger by verbally abusing them.

That is what I wanted to say, but instead I stooped to his level and said, “Well then add me to the list, because I won’t be coming back.”

I shopped at this tiny little grocery store because it took me back to my younger days was welcoming with a family atmosphere – or so I thought.  I don’t know if “Tracy” will continue to shop there, but I certainly won’t be back.

If you are going to hate something then hate what you understand and not what you fear.  I once thought hate should be removed, but realized that it cannot be.  We often look to hate because we fear being harmed in some way, which is misguided.  I have learned that there are things I hate and people no matter who they are – are not something to hate.

You can hate a lot of things.  Poverty, anxiety, depression even stupidity, but don’t hate those that resemble these things… understand that these individuals have made choices in their lives that should be respected… not feared and not hated.